Evil Apartment
by Staryday
Summary: Zack had laughed when Cloud said his apartment hated him. But three stubbed toes and two randomly slamming doors later, he began to think Cloud might be right. Zack/Cloud


**Started Friday, December 12th 2014**

**Ended Sunday, December 14th 2014**

**My first FF7 fanfic! It's just a short one shot between Zack and Cloud in which Zack's apartment doesn't like Cloud. Hope you enjoy!**

**Evil Apartment**

Cloud hated going to Zack's apartment. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy visiting his friend and teacher, he did, but Zack's apartment hated him. Normally, Cloud would never think such a crazy thing, apartments aren't alive or capable of feeling but Cloud's attitude changed dramatically when he visited his friend. It was Saturday and he had just finished training for the day. Sunday was his only day off and Cloud accepted Zack's invite to get away from the barracks and spend the night at his place.

Cloud knocked on the door, holding a small bag with a change of clothes and toothbrush. Zack came bounding over so loudly Cloud could hear him clearly while standing in the hallway. The door swung open and Zack stood there, his hair dripping wet and only wearing a pair of loose fitting pants.

"Cloudy!" Zack exclaimed. He moved to pounce on his young friend but Cloud sidestepped him quickly, leaving Zack flailing in the air.

"Don't hug me! You're all wet."

Later, Cloud would come to realize that was the exact moment Zack's apartment had decided it hated him. The front door swung hard at Cloud, smacking him on the back of the head and nearly making the little blonde fall to his knees. He groaned and touched his head gingerly.

"Ah! You okay, Spiky? That was weird, did I leave a window open or something?" Zack touched Cloud's head and winced sympathetically at the growing bump. "Come on, I've got a cure materia around here somewhere."

Cloud followed his friend inside, trying to ignore the feeling of unease growing in his stomach.

* * *

><p>The next time Cloud was invited to stay the night, he made sure to hold the door open until he was inside and then close it behind him. Zack had laughed at his behavior but didn't comment as he lead Cloud into the messy apartment. Cloud shook his head. His mother would have beaten him black and blue if he left his home like this. She probably would have strangled him if he ever invited people over without cleaning up. But Zack didn't care. He had runaway from home at the age of fourteen so no one had taught him the importance of tidiness when guests were coming over.<p>

With a sigh, Cloud began to pick up the dirty clothes tossed around the room. Really, what did Zack do? Come home and undress wherever he felt like? There were clothes everywhere! Cloud gathered as much as his arms could hold just as Zack walked into the living room with two sodas.

"Hey! Don't clean!" he exclaimed.

"I wouldn't have to if you picked up after yourself."

"You're supposed to be relaxing!" Zack scolded. "Put that down and let's sit on the couch and relax."

"After I've put these in the hamper—OUCH!"

Cloud stubbed his toe hard on the coffee table in the living room. He would swear up and down the table had been a few inches to his right but his throbbing toe indicated he'd misjudged the distance. Cloud dropped all the clothes as he sat on the couch, growling about his now broken toe. How was he supposed to run ten miles tomorrow with the other cadets with a broken toe?

Zack quickly knelt down and removed his sock, looking at the painful toe. "It's fine," Zack diagnosed. "Not broken. If you want, I can use my cure materia and make it stop hurting."

Cloud forced himself not to pout. "No, it's okay. I can handle a little sting."

Zack grinned and stood, ruffling his friend's spiky hair. "Good, now let that be a lesson to you! Don't clean my apartment!"

* * *

><p>A couple days after the toe-stubbing incident found Cloud at Zack's place once again. However he was surprised when he knocked and someone other than Zack answered the door. Cloud had met Angeal Hewley a couple of times but was awkward around the General. He was a good man but an intimidating figure.<p>

"Hello Cloud," Angeal greeted, stepping aside so the blonde could enter. "Zack is in the bathroom—"

Zack took that moment to appear in the hallway, once again dripping wet from his shower. He grinned widely at seeing Cloud and dashed forward.

"Cloud! You came!"

Just as before, Cloud quickly sidestepped his friend, leaving him flailing in the air. Zack regained his footing and pouted at his friend.

"Stop trying to hug me when you're all wet—"

Without warning the front door swung at Cloud. The knob slammed into his back painfully and Cloud was sent stumbling forward with a pained yelp. He fell to his knees and rubbed the spot on his back that had been hit.

"Shit, Cloud!" Zack was at his side in an instant while Angeal grabbed the door and held it in place.

"Did you forget to close the windows, Zack?" he asked, looking at the blonde boy in concern.

"I must have," Zack muttered, grabbing Cloud's shirt and lifting it to see a bruise already forming. "Come on, Cloud, I'll get my cure materia."

Cloud followed, glaring at the door as he walked away. While Zack went to hunt for his materia, the blonde looked around for the open window, intending to shut it harshly. But all the windows were closed, leaving Cloud very confused as to how the door suddenly tried to slam itself closed.

* * *

><p>Cloud didn't want to go to Zack's apartment again. He was sick of doors and tables beating him up. He got enough of that during training. Zack insisted he was being silly but the blonde was adamant. He didn't go visit his friend for over two weeks and in those two weeks he never once got hit by a door or stubbed his toe, on anything. However the streak was broken on a Wednesday after a particularly grueling training practice. The instructor had been mad about something and took it out on the cadets. Feeling beaten and tired, Cloud had accepted Zack's invitation to come to his place and relax.<p>

When Cloud entered, he made sure to hold the door tightly until it was shut and locked. He considered leaving his boots on, in case of randomly moving furniture, but decided against it as his shoes were muddy from training. He didn't attempt to clean the messy apartment and curled up on the couch, grabbing a blanket and snuggling with it. Zack existed the kitchen with a couple of drinks and felt his heart nearly melt at the sight of the pouty blonde curled up on the couch.

"Rough day, Chocobo?" Zack teased. Cloud glared at him and snuggled tighter into the blanket. "Come on, tell me all about it. I'm a great listener!"

Cloud snorted in disbelief, making the older man whine. Without warning the single potted plant Zack owned fell from the shelf it was sitting on above the couch. It landed on Cloud's stomach and the blonde yelled in pain.

"Oh shit! Cloud are you okay?"

Zack ran over and grabbed the plant, which was thankfully in a plastic container so it hadn't broken. Dirt fell everywhere but Zack ignored it as he tossed the plant aside to check on Cloud. Cloud however, batted his friend's hands away.

"No!" he yelled and jumped to his feet, stumbling over the blanket. The blonde tripped and smashed his heel into the couch, scrapping the skin off even through his sock. Cloud cursed loudly and glared around himself. "Your apartment hates me!"

Zack paused for a moment before laughing. He quickly stopped when Cloud glared at him. "Cloud, apartments aren't alive, they can't hate you."

"Yours does." Cloud looked around himself suspiciously.

"Come on, it was an accident. I'll move the plant somewhere else so it won't fall again. Sit down and relax."

"..."

Slowly, Cloud returned to the couch. He sat next to Zack, not relaxing as he expected something else to fall on his head. Zack wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"See, you're fine. Nothing bad is going to happen."

Slowly, Cloud relaxed. He sank into the couch and Zack smiled happily. "Are you hungry? I've got a casserole in the fridge from Angeal."

Cloud nodded. He enjoyed Angeal's cooking, the man was a savant in the kitchen.

"Okay, I'll go heat it up. You stay on the couch where my evil apartment can't get you."

Cloud glared as Zack went to the kitchen. Now that he was alone, Cloud was feeling tense again. He could sense some sort of presence that didn't like him. It was mad at him for some unknown reason and wanted to punish the blonde. Cloud looked around the room wearily, fully expecting another attack.

He was not disappointed as a cracking sound suddenly echoed through the living room. Cloud looked up just in time to see the shelf above the couch fall from the wall. He jumped out of the way and tripped on the clothes, slamming first his toe into the coffee table and then his knee as he attempted to stumble away from the crashing furniture.

Zack came running from the kitchen. "What happened?" he exclaimed, spotting the shelf now on the couch and the holes in his walls.

"Your apartment is trying to kill me!" Cloud yelled. He ran for the door and grabbed his shoes, not even bothering to put them on. Zack didn't have a chance to stop him before Cloud was out the door and fleeing for his life. The Soldier merely stood in his living room looking at the destruction and wondering if maybe Cloud was right.

* * *

><p>Sephiroth was attempting to do paperwork. He didn't particularly like doing paperwork but it didn't bother him as much as other people. Angeal was the same and performed the annoying task with the air of one long used to suffering. Genesis was the exact opposite. He hated doing paperwork so much he usually refused to do it all, leaving the other two to pick up his slack.<p>

However today Sephiroth was having trouble getting his work done. His newly appointed Lieutenant, Zack Fair, was currently sitting in his office, his head resting on Sephiroth's desk, playing with a paperclip and sighing every few seconds. Sephiroth did not like when Zack did this. He wasn't good at giving out advice and he hated asking someone what was wrong because they always told him. But if he didn't ask, Zack would continue to sigh and distract the General from his work.

"What is wrong, Fair?"

"How many times have I told you to call me Zack! Zack!"

Sephiroth barely restrained from rolling his eyes. "What is wrong, _Zack_?"

"It's Cloud!" Zack's voice was loud and whiny and Sephiroth wanted nothing more than to call Angeal and pawn his annoying puppy off on the other man. But Angeal was currently on a mission in the city and wouldn't be back for a few hours. That was probably the reason Zack was here bugging the General now instead of his mentor.

"Who is Cloud?" Sephiroth asked.

"He's my buddy! He's this super cute and awesome cadet I've been training. He really wants to be Soldier and works harder than anyone ever to achieve his dream, which I think is really admirable so naturally I wanted to help him..."

Sephiroth stopped listening as Zack began to ramble endlessly about his friend. He returned to his paperwork, offering a few noises every so often so Zack still thought he was listening. Though after a few minutes, Zack caught on and crossed his arms, scowling deeply.

"You're not listening."

"No," Sephiroth answered, ignoring Zack's indignant huff. "I do not care about the status of your crush."

Zack flushed. "I do not have a crush."

Sephiroth stopped signing papers and stared at Zack with a straight face. The Soldier began to fidget and looked anywhere but at his boss. Finally, after a minute of the cold stare, Zack threw his hands up in defeat.

"Fine fine! Maybe I have a little bit of a crush! But how am supposed to act on it if he never comes over anymore?"

"Why does he no longer accept your invitations?"

"He thinks my apartment is trying to kill him."

Sephiroth blinked and then mentally sighed. _Of course_ Zack would fall for someone just as ridiculous as him.

"Apartments do not have feelings."

"That's what I keep telling him! But ever since the shelf broke and nearly smashed his skull in he's refused to come back. I have to go to the barracks if I want to see him. The _barracks_, Seph! Do you know how much it sucks down there?" Zack paused briefly. "You know, we really should do something about it. I mean, I get they're only cadets but it _is_ kinda bad."

"I will look into it. Until then, perhaps you should get your shelf fixed and convince your friend to return."

"You think he will?"

"I believe if anyone can pester someone until they give in, it's you, Zack."

Zack started to grin then stopped, not sure if that was a compliment. Deciding he didn't care, he was going to take it as one, Zack grinned and jumped to his feet.

"You're absolutely right, Seph! I'm going to fix the shelf and then keep asking until Cloud agrees to spend the night again!" He placed a hand on Sephiroth's shoulder. "Thank you, Sephiroth, you're a good friend."

Whistling a happy tune, Zack practically skipped out of the office. Sephiroth stared after him a moment before shaking his head and silently apologizing to Cadet Cloud for convincing Zack to chase after him. He just hoped the cadet was strong enough to handle it.

* * *

><p>"Spiky!" Zack shouted, his voice easily echoing through the mess hall. The cadets jumped in surprised and Cloud, on the other side of the room, nearly choked on his spoon as he was trying to eat. The Soldier bounced across the mess hall, nodding and waving at people as he did. He plopped down in the seat next to Cloud.<p>

"So guess what, Spiky? I got the shelf fixed. _And_ I had it reinforced so it won't fall again. Turns out when it was first put in the person who did it didn't attach it to a stud so the more things I put on it, the faster it fell down.

"I'm glad you got your wall fixed but I'm still not coming over."

"Awe but..."

"Zack, do you know how many times I've stubbed my toe in the barracks?"

Zack looked thoughtful. "A lot...?" he guessed hopefully.

Cloud glared at him. "Never. You know how many times I've hurt my toe at your place?"

Zack sighed sadly. "A lot."

"Hmm." Cloud returned to his food. "We can still hang out at my place."

"You share with four other guys," Zack complained.

"They're not that bad. And they're not always there, especially on Sundays, they like to go out into the city."

"Alright," Zack muttered. "We can hang at your place Sunday."

"But you know, if Angeal did make another casserole, I can heat it up in my room and we could still share it."

Zack perked up and suddenly grinned when he noticed Cloud's red face. The blonde was trying to act nonchalant but Zack could tell he was embarrassed by the suggestion.

"Sure, I'll ask him." Cloud nodded and Zack wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Maybe hanging out at Cloud's place wouldn't be so bad.

* * *

><p>Cloud's place was terrible. The barracks were terrible. Everything about Sunday had been terrible. Cloud's roommates didn't leave like they usually did and were there <em>all day<em>. They constantly asked Zack questions about Soldier and Sephiroth and stared at him with no small degree of awe. Zack had found them obnoxious and annoying and because of them, he didn't get to spend anytime alone with Cloud. They even managed to ruin Angeal's casserole by pouring catsup –freaking catsup!– all over it. Zack vowed never to tell Angeal about the horrible dishonor these cadets had wrought on his delicious meal. It would probably give his mentor a heart attack.

Zack was currently staring around his apartment. Cloud always complained that the place was a mess. Every time he came over, he attempted to clean. So, Zack decided, he would clean his apartment himself. The next time Cloud came over there would be no clothes on the floor or furniture, the rug would be vacuumed, and the plates would all be in the sink. Cloud rarely entered Zack's kitchen so the Soldier figured he could be a little lax in the cleaning of that room.

Satisfied with his cleaning job, Zack surveyed the living room. His eyes landed on the coffee table. Cloud had stubbed his toe on it many times. With a heavy sigh, Zack decided it would have to go. He liked having it to rest his feet on while he lounged on the couch, but Zack wanted Cloud to come back more than the wanted a foot stool. He pulled out his PHS.

"Hey Genesis! It's Zack, do you want a coffee table...?"

* * *

><p>Zack practically tackled Cloud when the young cadet wearily left the showers after training. Cloud smiled tiredly at his friend. It had been a long day and seeing Zack warmed his heart. The Soldier had a way of making Cloud forget all his doubts and insecurities. His blind faith in the young cadet was flattering and helped Cloud to surpass his lack of confidence to do better. Especially after hard, grueling days like this one, Zack's smiling face and endless positivity was exactly what Cloud needed.<p>

"Hey Spiky!" Zack greeted. "How was training?"

"Hard," Cloud answered quietly.

"You hungry? Let's go get some food and you can tell me all about it."

They went to the mess hall and Cloud proceeded to unload his day on Zack, who was only too happy to listen. Once the blonde was done, he asked about Zack's day and the Soldier told him some funny mission stories.

As they finished lunch, Zack brought up his apartment. "So I want you to come over again!"

"Zack..."

"No, listen, listen! I know you're not comfortable at my place so I made it more Cloud-friendly!"

"Cloud-friendly? What's that mean?"

"It means I cleaned up for you, there are no clothes anywhere, and I got rid of the coffee table."

"You got rid of your table?" Cloud asked in surprise.

Zack nodded quickly. "So now there's nothing for you to stub your toes on. So what d'ya say? Want to come over again?"

Cloud still wasn't sure but he felt he couldn't turn Zack down. The older man had cleaned for him, for Gaia's sake! And he had gotten rid of his table, which Cloud actually felt bad about. There was no way he could say no now.

"Okay, I'll come."

"Sweet!" Zack cheered. "Come over Saturday when classes end and we can hang out that night and Sunday!"

"Okay, I'll see you then."

* * *

><p>When Saturday rolled around, Cloud gathered up an overnight bag and bid farewell to his roommates, ignoring their teasing words about him spending the night with Zack. Cloud stood in front of Zack's door and took a deep breath, knocking loudly. It wasn't long before he heard the tell-tale stomping of his friend's feet and the door swung open.<p>

"Spiky!" Zack exclaimed happily. "Good to see you again!"

As usual Zack was shirtless and dripping wet. Cloud wondered if his friend planned showers around his arrival or if it was just a coincident. Zack attempted to hug the blonde but Cloud sidestepped him easily.

"Stop trying to hug me when you're all wet!" Cloud scolded. He entered the apartment and immediately felt an oppressive feeling. Cloud was on guard as he removed his boots and walked in. True to his word, Zack had cleaned the living room. There was a lot more space without the coffee table and Cloud decided he liked the room better without it.

"You really did clean!" Cloud said, looking around. "I'm impressed."

"Thanks!" Zack laughed. "Take a seat! You want anything to drink or are you hungry?"

"Did Angeal make another casserole?"

"Better! He made lasagna."

Cloud felt his mouth water. "Yes please."

Zack laughed and bounced into the kitchen. He had to hunt for clean plates but eventually found them. While the food warmed up, Zack grabbed some soda and walked into the living room, pausing to watch Cloud. His young friend was kneeling on the couch, testing out the newly installed shelves. After deeming them sturdy enough, he turned and plopped onto the couch.

"They pass inspection?" Zack teased, handing over a drink.

Cloud nodded. "Whoever did them did a good job." The blonde fidgeted with his soda and looked down at his lap. "Hey, I'm sorry..."

"Sorry for what?"

"For calling your apartment evil. I was being dumb."

The Soldier laughed. "Don't worry about it, you were having a ruff day." Zack ruffled Cloud's spikes, grinning.

Cloud batted his hands away. "And um, thank you. For cleaning and making your place 'Cloud-friendly.' It was really nice of you."

Zack grinned softly, wrapping an arm around Cloud's shoulder. "Of course. Anything to make my Cloud happy."

The blonde turned bright red and quickly opened his soda. Sadly, even though Zack loved having Cloud over, his apartment was still not sold on the idea. The soda, for some inexplicable reason, sprayed everywhere as soon as it was opened. Cloud was doused in the sticky liquid and stared at the can with his jaw dropped in disbelief.

Zack panicked. "Oh Gaia! Cloud, I'm so so so so sorry! I didn't know! I didn't think it was shaken! Let me get some napkins!"

Zack dashed off and Cloud glared around the apartment. Feeling very angry and irrational, the blonde held his drink up and poured what was left of it on the floor. A silent challenge to the apartment that hated him so much. Zack returned a moment later with a large roll of towels.

"You might as well just take a shower," Zack pointed out, lying towels on the couch and floor. "You're going to be all sticky if you don't."

With a sigh, Cloud stood and made his way to the bathroom. He knew he needed a shower but part of him was worried about what the evil apartment might do if he took one. Was the place vicious enough to try and hurt him while in the water? It hadn't shown any restraint so far.

"What am I thinking?" Cloud whispered to himself. Apartments weren't alive! So long as Cloud was careful he would be just fine.

The blonde stripped, tossing his clothes to the side. He was very cautious as he turned the water on and stepped into the warm stream. Everything was fine. Cloud quickly washed, taking a moment to smell Zack's soap. It wasn't the terrible Shinra standard issue stuff he had to use but a nice raspberry scented lather.

As Cloud finished rinsing he noticed the water getting hotter. He stepped up his pace and scrubbed at his spikes but the water was too hot to bear anymore. Cloud tried to turn it off but the handle broke in his hand. For a moment, Cloud was dumbfounded, but then the scalding water brought him back to reality and the blonde quickly jumped from the shower. He slipped and yelled as he fell forward, taking the shower curtain with him.

Zack heard the yell and crash from the living room where he was still scrubbing soda out of the couch. He shot to his feet and ran down the hall, bursting into the bathroom in a panic.

"Spiky!"

Cloud was sitting in a heap covered by the torn shower curtain. His skin was a bright red from the hot water and he was currently nursing a bruised elbow. He looked up at Zack with sad and angry blue eyes.

"What's wrong with this place?" he demanded.

Zack noticed the broken shower handle and growled in frustration. "I don't know!" He sat next to Cloud on the wet floor. "I thought everything was fine! I don't know why my apartment is trying to kill you!"

Cloud let out a tiny laugh at Zack's pouty tone. The way he sounded, the apartment had just tried to kill him, not Cloud.

"I'm sorry, Cloud. I just wanted you to come over. I love spending time with you, just you and me. It makes me so happy when you're here."

"Me too."

Zack blinked in surprise. "What?"

"I said, 'me too.' I love coming over and hanging out with you too, Zack. I used to look forward to it every week but then your apartment started trying to murder me."

"Yeah! What's up with that?" Zack yelled at the ceiling, shaking a fist. Cloud laughed and a second later Zack did too. Each of them realized exactly how silly there were being, blaming Cloud's accidents on a building.

"Well I still want you to stay the night, but if you want to come home after this, I guess I understand."

"I'll stay," Cloud whispered.

Zack turned to him and smiled brightly. Without warning he leaned forward and placed a quick kiss on Cloud's cheek. Cloud probably would have blushed, but his skin was still red from the hot shower. Instead he ducked his head for a moment before looking up at realizing Zack was also blushing. With a small smile, Cloud leaned forward and kissed him quickly on the lips. As soon as Cloud's lips touched Zack's, the oppressive feeling vanished. Cloud suddenly felt lighter, like he could breathe easier.

"Huh," he said, more to himself than Zack. "The apartment likes him too, that's why it was being mean, because it thought I didn't like Zack."

"What are you talking about?"

Cloud smiled. "Nothing. I don't think we'll have to worry about anymore accidents though."

"You're damn right we won't!" Zack yelled. "Cuz I'm having someone come over and inspect this place from top to bottom! If I'm going to have my new boyfriend coming over all the time I need to make sure he's safe."

Cloud laughed, trying to hide his shyness and embarrassment at being called someone's boyfriend.

"Okay. Now go get me some clothes. It's cold sitting on the bathroom floor!"

Zack stared the blonde up and down. "Nah, I think I like you better like this."

"Zack! Don't be a perv!"

Zack's grin was definitely perverse as he leaned forward, tugging at the shower curtain covering Cloud's lap. "Awe come on! If we're going to start dating don't I deserve a little peak?"

"No! Zack!" Cloud suddenly realized the oppressive feeling was back and braced himself for something terrible, but it never came. Instead, the shower head burst and a jet of water sprayed all over Zack, who yelled in shock. The oppressive feeling vanished and Cloud burst out laughing.

"What was that?" Zack exclaimed.

Cloud smiled. "I think your apartment likes me."

**End**

**A/N: And that's all she wrote, folks. Lol I hope you enjoyed this silly one-shot. If you like my writing, I just started a new fic that's a FF7/Harry Potter crossover. So if you're into that type of thing, go check it out.**

**Thank you! Please review!**


End file.
